entertainment

13 of Gwyneth Paltrow's most amazingly unrelatable quotes

In honour of Gwynnie's new lifestyle series 'The Goop Lab' hitting Netflix, we present the wellness guru's most incredible pearls of wisdom.

2020-01-07

Gwyneth Paltrow is officially taking her brand of barmy, possibly dangerous lifestyle advice to Netflix for bew series The Goop Lab - and we can think of no better way to celebrate than to share some of our favourite pearls of wisdom from the actress-turned-wellness guru.

Whether she's guest-starring on Glee, flogging $1000 onesies on Goop or "consciously uncoupling" from her husband, Gwynnie always has a totally relatable anecdote or piece of advice to hand.

She's living proof, if any were needed, that there is indeed life after forgetting about dessert. So without further ado, read, process - and get ready for your heart to bleed...

1) “I would rather die than let my kid eat Cup-a-Soup.”

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2) “Beauty fades! I just turned 29, so I probably don’t have that many good years left in me.”

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3) “I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.”

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4) “I am who I am. I can’t pretend to be somebody who makes $25,000 a year.”

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5) “I basically love anything that comes in a hot dog bun… except hot dogs.”

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6) “We have great dinner parties at which everyone sits around talking about politics, history, art and literature – all this peppered with really funny jokes. But back in America, I was at a party and a girl looked at me and said, ‘Oh, my God! Are those Juicy jeans that you’re wearing?’ and I thought, I can’t stay here. I have to get back to Europe.”

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7) “Beyoncé’s like, ‘Okay. The singing is great. But you’re not having any fun.’ She’s like, ‘Remember when we were at Jay’s concert and Panjabi MC comes on and you do your crazy Indian dance? Do that. Be you!’”

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8) “When I pass a flowering zucchini plant in a garden, my heart skips a beat.”

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9) “You know, I use organic products, but I get [laser treatments]. It’s what makes life interesting, finding the balance between cigarettes and tofu.”

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10) “I had my first bowl of gazpacho when I was fifteen in Spain, and the impression it made was a lasting one.”

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11) “One evening when I had my wood-burning stove going I realised I hadn’t thought of dessert.”

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12) “We’re human beings and the Sun is the Sun - how can it be bad for you? I don’t think anything that’s natural can be bad for you.”

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13) "I drank like crazy [when Apple and Moses were babies]. How else could I get throught the day!"

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The Goop Labegins streaming on Netflix on 24 January.